God’s Bum Note

Ok before we start proper, let me clarify a few things.

I am not religious, however I respect people who are and they have every right to hold whatever belief they wish as long as they don’t impose it upon others.

I am registered disabled.

Ok, clear.. good.

On the bus this very morning I was eavesdropping on the conversation occurring in front of me. In my defense I was traveling alone and I’d forgotten my headphones, anyway I digress. The conversation was brief, between a disabled guy and his carer..

Carer: Do you go to church?

Disabled Guy: Yes every week.

Now as I state above, I have no issues with anyone holding any religious views. However if you subscribe to any of the major belief systems, you believe in one way or another that you are created in God’s image and that God is infallible. Now if I take on those beliefs for just a second and go and take a look and myself in the mirror. I can see several huge mistakes my creator made, and that’s not counting the major personality flaws.

If you ask anyone religious about this they say that the almighty is testing the likes of us. Was this put to a vote? Did I miss a meeting? Apparently you are tested to be a stronger person at the end of it. Well at the end of my “test” I’ll be worm food, so forgive me for missing the benefit there. Am I supposed to be thankful for this?

The way I look at it, through my squinty (or cross-eyed to my US brothers and sisters) eye. For a person with a disablement to go and worship their creator is a bit like sharpening the pins for the guy who is poking your eyes out, or Alf Inge Haaland worshipping Roy Keane or shouting “Yes mistress, may I have another!!” and Mistress Stephanie does not visit until next Thursday so I shouldn’t be saying that yet.

Why would you hold something in such high regard when it clearly has contempt for you? I justify religion by saying “whatever helps people through the day” a good positive thing. How can religion help me? How can I forget that I am god’s bum note, for long enough to draw any kind of positive?

I cannot.

Maybe thats why I can’t buy into religion. I am me, warts and all, no tests, no rewards, just life.



  1. Even as a former Pentecostal turned atheist I don’t get it either anymore. It made sense to me at the time, something about how great the reward after I die would be. Certain branches of particular religions are all about how you need to suffer in this life and it doesn’t matter since you’ll be in heaven after you die, for all eternity. So what is a paltry 50 to 80 years of suffering compared to eternity of joy? Or something like that.

  2. I personally am not religious, but I did grow up in a Baptist family, and I have somewhat of an understanding of the way the faith works. I do not pretend to know everything, but from what I can understand, the belief is this: God gave you your disability for a reason. It is not so you can live your life in a lesser way than others. It is rather to create the impact on the world he intends for you to have, that he needs YOU to achieve. You are created with your disability so that you can achieve what you are meant to achieve, something you could not do without every flaw and mistake you have. It is an achievement no other can reach, and that is why you have your disability. That is why you are different. It’s so you can do something no one else can do.

    1. Thanks for this comment.. it”s nice to have a bit of balance, no pun intended!
      Like you I have no religious leanings, this was kind of a piece based on the turmoil those who do must face. I believe God didn’t give me my disability, same as God doesn’t put whiskers on kittens or kill babies with malaria, because to believe anything else would drive me nuts.

  3. Leaving my church was triggered by one event where I suddenly realized, “This is what mass hysteria looks like!”, after that I went sporadically for a few months and then stopped. The atheism came much much later, it was a process that took me nearly 10 years of study and seeking to arrive there.

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