You Fat Bastard

It’s the new year. Some people will have resolved to lose weight partly due to the fact that those extra Turkey sandwiches have given people guilt pangs. Channel 5 in the UK have come up with the masterstroke of showing “50 Shocking Facts About Diet and Exercise.” A tongue in cheek show showing lots of people are really guilable when it comes to how they treat their bodies. Now I’m naturally skinny, lucky me. But I will give you a secret to health. Its simple.

Eat in proportion to how active you are! If you are too fat, eat less become more active. We are simple creatures. All this calorie counting, Atkins, and Weight Watchers is all bollocks. The long term success rate of Weight Watchers is scandalous. As high as 2 in 1000. If you car only worked 2 in a thousand times you wouldn’t say it was a good car. Remember people Weight Watchers make money by keeping you at meetings, if you stop going and reach your target weight and stay there they lose your subs.

Fad diets are even worse. Atkins, G – Plan, no bread, whatever. Balance is the key. Too much or too little of anything is bad for you. Simple. Your body will tell you if you are feeling ok. Listen to it. Too many aches and pains, breathlessness after scratching your arse. Probably a sign you should do something, what you do is up to you. A bunch of crystal meth will take those pounds off but it will probably screw with your body in other ways ruining the balance!

Humans are a balanced species. We can do almost everything except fly. We can run, but not too fast. We can jump, but not too high. Cheetahs can run fast but they are crap Archers, nor can they tell any good jokes. Humans are the archetypal “Jack/Jill of all trades” some of us are tall some are short, some are fat. The fact is that many people we aspire to be are freaks. I mean freaks in the nicest possible way. Michael Phelps the record breaking American swimmer is freakishly good at swimming. His muscles are the optimum dimensions for swimming. Anyone trying to compete is already on to loser before they enter the pool. It is only age that has made things a little more competitive.

By Karen Blaha (Flickr profile) (Original webpage:[1] Website publisher: Flickr) [CC-BY-2.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons


Healthy is a myth. Another body image projected by the media. Personal wellbeing is something that should be promoted. But it can’t be packaged and sold, because it is different for different people. Some people carry weight in fat, others in muscle. Some people will be skinny and feel like shit, others will feel ok. Because we are balanced, anything to the extreme is bad.

Diet anything, programs, foods, drinks are all marketing ways to get people to part with their cash. If you want a Coke, drink a full fat coke. Enjoy it. It has less chemicals in it than Diet Coke. Just don’t drink loads of it. Balance, moderation. Simple

I’m off now to kill Special K advertisers. Happy New Year, eat enjoy be happy.


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