The Joy of Misery

This post has sprung out of an in car conversation I had with the Weeble. You see the Weeble is a positive person a bright jovial individual. A good friend to all and pleasant to everyone in the workplace.

I on the other hand. Am not. An example:

Work Colleague: “Alright Mate can you do me a favour?”
Me: “No”

The aforementioned work colleague then walked away and left me alone. Result! Now don’t get me wrong I do actually have a very good customer service ethic, give me a job to do and I will do it to the best of my ability. However the domain of the “favour” lies firmly with people I actually like.

The same is true for:-

  • Morning greetings (Hello, Good Morning etc)
  • Small talk (Good weekend?)
  • Caring about colleagues family (Kids, Boyfriends, Dogs… not ever Cats (sorry))
  • Farewell ritual (Bye, See You Tomorrow)

If anyone gets these responses out of me it means I actually care. It is not because I feel bound by some workplace etiquette. Because my responses to others I don’t actually like are very short, sharp and to the point or not at all. I have a reputation of being grumpy.

Good. Played for and got!

The means that people I don’t like avoid me, leave me alone without me even having to give them any hints. They don’t like me, I don’t like them everyone knows where they stand there is no awkward grey area. New starters at work who meet me for the first time, think I’m “a bit off” but they are quickly told “He’s like that with everyone” so they actually feel good. It’s nothing personal.

Whereas, those rays of sunshine folks, when they do have an “off day” which does happen, they actually upset people more. Mr Sunshine with a hangover snaps at new Ms Priss. Ms Priss says to her new colleagues “Why did Mr Sunshine snap at me?” The answer they get is “I don’t know, he’s usually so nice. What did you do?” So now Ms Priss will spend the whole day worrying she did something. So who’s the bastard  now.

We live in a world where it’s deemed wrong to be negative. Any idea has to be a good one. If you say “That’s crap it won’t work” you are labelled as awkward. The human race survived due to negative people. The caveman that said “No I don’t think we can fly” saved the lives of millions.

Be the best Bastard you can be. To spread the happiness.

An office… spot the bastard


  1. I seriously love that you tagged this one with “Hero”.

    While I am not the office grump I am the sarcastic one, people are never quite sure if I am serious, and I always answer to “Can you do me a favor?”, even if I’m going to do it anyway. Keeps ’em on their toes.

    Also, cats are superior to dogs, just saying.

    1. Aha that explains all those “guide/seeing eye cats” you see 🙂

      Sarcasm and misery makes the world go round. Thanks for reading

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