Fiction: Because of What the Leprechaun Said

This story is part of the Irish themed Absolute Write Forum blog chain for this month. It is a companion tale to that that I wrote for the last years March blog chain. Hopefully it stands up as a work all by itself but you might like to read the other story here to get maximum enjoyment.

Please also check out the work of the others in the chain.

Angyl78 jelyzabeth.com (link to post)
BBBurke http://awritersprogression.blogspot.com/ (link to post)
Syrup http://asimplesyrup.com (link to post)
Springs2 Www.jozebwrites.blogspot.com (link to post)
Layla Lawlor http://www.laylalawlor.com (link to post)
Sudo_One https://sudoone.wordpress.com (link to post)
RAstarligh www.improveomatic.com (link to post)
WerbyG wrgingell.com (link to post)
Aheila https://thewriteaholicblog.wordpress.com (link to post)
LeighAnderson http://leighandersonromance.com/ (link to post)



To anyone who might be able to help me,

My name is Maria Starr, I am worried about my husband. He has been acting very strangely at home. Although no-one at church seems to have noticed. He used to be such a kind, attentive and gentle soul. That all changed one overcast night in March last year. I recount these events in the vain hope someone out there might help me make sense of all this and bring back the man I married.

We were watching the St Paddys day parade through the village, my husband never much of a drinker, turned up, three sheets to the wind. I suppose given the day he blended into the crowd, to everyone else but me. I asked him where he had been, he snapped at me cursing, telling me it was none of my… none of my business. Right there in the street. Normal drunken behaviour for some of you no doubt, but not for my man. He never spoke to me that way.

I took him home, dragging him past the Constables house, and with a struggle onto our sofa where he slept, for almost a day. When he awoke I told him what had happened. He said he couldn’t remember anything and that he was very sorry. I was annoyed for a few days until my friends convinced me that he was “just a man” and this behaviour after years of marriage was to be expected.Nothing out of the ordinary happened for 6 months after that. I thought that I was being silly and my friends were right. I was lucky to have such a man.

This view changed once again last September. I came home early from work one day, I found my husband sat in our bedroom in the gloom, rocking back and forth, sweating from every pore. I had heard loud voices so I thought my husband must have been talking on the phone, but the phone was on the cradle in the hallway as usual. He seemed to be in some kind of trance. He didn’t notice me enter the room and he kept rocking, slowly back and forth murmuring something about a girl. Lorna.
“Lorna?” I said.
When her name left my lips my husband let out a sobbing wail. I asked him again to tell me why he was talking about her. No-one had seen her since she walked out on Chris years ago. Even Chris was surprised she cut off all contact.

The morning after this episode, my husband was again fine. He said he was feeling the pressure at work and he was sorry if I’d been upset. It’s been pretty much normal now for two weeks, but its always on my mind. What am I going to find him doing next, its scary.

I have suggested we take a holiday get away from it all. But he says a bit of time alone in the garden will do him the world of good. He has brought some new tools to keep the garden tidy which has to be positive. I am still worried however as I have heard him talking to himself when he thinks I’m asleep. He has been saying some godless things, I pray for him each night and urge you to as well. I don’t know where I will send this letter, maybe I won’t need to God willing. My husband has been very happy today cutting back some trees in the garden with the chainsaw, it’s very loud and at times I could have sworn it was right outside the door.

DOOR KNOB TO SECOND FLOOR BEDROOM DOOR - Fort Sheridan, Lieutenants' Quarters, 165 Scott Loop, Lake Forest, Lake County, IL HABS ILL,49-FTSH,1-4-8

Fiction: Because of What the Leprechaun Said

(WMB4X) Fiction: Unicorn Droppings

“It’s the the third one this week.” said DC Shaw, looking rather green.

DC Shaw, a tall man in his mid thirties with a bald head which the light from the florescent tubes above him bounced off of, had just opened yet another envelope delivered to the Thames Valley West Police Station.

The envelope, just like those before it had contained a childs finger.

“Bout time we caught the bastard who did it then isn’t it.” DCI Murray replied. Taking a sip of his tea. “Have you given forensics a ring? So that they can do their magic.”

Shaw thought that ‘magic’ was a poor choice of words given the circumstance, but replied “Yes Guv. They’ll confirm in the next few hours but it looks to be from the same hand as the previous two.”

“So it’s from a 6 to 7 year old girl.” said Murray reading from his notes. “With distinct nail varnish, ‘Unicorn Droppings style’ it says here.”

“Yes that’s correct.”
“Does the envelope give us anything to go on this time around?” asked Murray.
“No. Printed label, plain brown jiffy bag. Just as before”
“Why send it here though?”
“Maybe the guy feels bad, wants to get caught.”

The two men sat in silence pondering this as yet leadless case in DCI Murrays office. The hum of the air conditioner and the muffled voices of those the other side of the door were the only things to be heard. Until Shaw’s mobile phone rang. It was switched to silent but the vibration against the table made a noise that startled both men.

Shaw grabbed it with a bear like hand and clicked the lock button twice to send the call to voice mail. “Sorry about that.” he said. The phone then vibrated again and flashed up a message displaying ’27 voicemails’ on it’s large screen.

“27 voicemails Shaw.” said Murray, leaning back in his chair. “Someone wants to get hold of you.”

“I think it’s probably Katie Gov.”
“Want you back does she?”
“What do you think?”

Murray knew all about Shaws recent break up. Katie had chosen to do it in the Investigation room in front of the team and accompanied by Shaws daughter Jessica. Katie went mad, throwing things at Shaw accusing him of having affairs with all four of the female officers on the team. She would have spent a few hours in the cells to calm down, had Shaw himself not stepped in and promised to take her home.

Murray felt sorry for Jessica.

“How is Jess?” He asked. “Do you see her much?”
“She’s fine. Saw her this weekend. Before I dropped her at camp” Shaw gazed off into middle distance.
“Brownies?”
“Yeah.”
“Let me know if you hear anything from forensics.”
“Will do Guv.”

The phone on Shaws messy desk sprung into life three hours after he had left Murrays office.
“DC Shaw, Thames Valley CID.”
“Steven. It’s Lisa, from Forensics. How you doing?”
“Not bad thanks,” Shaw replied lying. “Got anything for me on that finger?”
“Yep, as expected it was from the same poor little girl.”

Shaw noted this down after scrabbling around to find a working pen.

“Anything on the envelope?”
“No. Nothing we can use anyway. The whole thing has been wiped.The finger itself was packed meticulously. Almost making sure the finger didn’t get damaged. Bit of a waste if you ask me, I mean with it being chopped off..”

“Nothing of note.” Shaw interrupted. Not caring for Lisa’s opinion.
“No aside from confirming that this is from the same hand of the same girl with the same nail varnish.”
“OK. Thanks.” Shaw said. Placing the phone down and placing his bald head in his sizeable hands. Letting out a deep sigh, he rose from his chair and walked to DCI Murrays door and knocked.
“Come.” said Murray.
“Guv that was forensics.”
“Yes. Anything?”
“‘fraid not. The finger was from the same girl though.”
“Not much to go on then is there.”
“No guv.”
“Well I think the best you can do is go and get some rest. As my old governor used to say to me. ‘A tired mind never solved any crime’”

Shaw took the night bus home. He was still sharing a car with Katie and he’d dropped it off Monday morning. It was raining but he didn’t really mind as the bus stopped right outside his house. He fumbled for his keys that were caught in the lining of his jacket.

He opened the door to his silent house.

Silence where there once was laughter. Jess’s paintings still adorned the walls, bags of clothing Katie’s and Jess’ still lay strewn in the hallway. It had been less than two weeks since Shaw had suffered the humiliation of the “Investigation Room” He wondered How could she break up with him like that, so publicly. She had no right. Bitch was wrong anyway. In front of Jess too. Poor Jess.

Shaw went to pour himself a drink. There were no clean glasses. So he took a swig from the bottle.

Katie would learn that she shouldn’t have crossed him, Shaw thought.

He remembered the last conversation he had with Jess. She was packing her bags to go to brownies. She had told him about the big trip her and her mother were going on when she got back from camp. She said they were going on a plane, to live far far away to with Uncle Barry in “Down Under” and search for Unicorns just like the ones who made the nail varnish Uncle Barry had given her.

She said. “Do you like my nails Daddy?”

Bleeding finger


This piece was a proud part of the Absolute Write Blog Chain for November, where the theme was Unicorn Droppings. The other participants are below.

shtar’sgate – http://chickenscratchbc.blogspot.ca/ (link to post)
orion_mk3 – http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (link to post)
sweetwheat – http://gomezkarla.blogspot.com/ (link to post)
skunkmelons – http://www.jenniferponce.com/skunkblog (link to post)
BBBurke – http://www.awritersprogression.com/ (link to post)

If thats not enough, please visit the Resident Weeble, he said he’d chop of my fingers if you didn’t.

(WMB4X) Fiction: Unicorn Droppings

Fiction: Morning Tea

This is my third Absolute Write Forum inspired piece. The theme for this month is dialogue only. With an option of including something to do with “Wrong Place, Right Time.” If you enjoy this dialogue only story I have written one other here. Also as usual please check out the other efforts from those participating in the Blog Chain.


“Jules.. Wake up”
“Urgh. Go away”
“C’mon now. Busy day. We’ve slept in long enough.”
“Ten more minutes”
“Julia. Up now.”
“Don’t you Julia me. Five more minutes then. Go on please. I am sleeping for two now.”
“Oh yes I can see who’s gonna be warming baby formula at 5am”
“Me! I won’t have been to bed yet.”
“Enough now. You don’t want to be late for your appointment.”
“I have ages yet hun, you worry too much.”
“I don’t want you to be running around getting stressed..”
“Bad for the baby.. I know you have said it before. Christ Jamie you nearly said it at conception.”
“I did not! Besides its only out of love”
“Come here soppy knickers!”
“No time for cuddles now. Up!!”
“Ok ok. Pass me that shirt will you?”
“This one?”
“No that’s yours.”
“This blue one?”
“Thanks… Is that the kettle I hear boiling?”
“I’m making tea. I know how you like it.”
“I thought I wasn’t allowed caffeine. ‘Not calling the baby Twinings’ you said.”
“It’s Red Bush.”
“Urgh I hate red bush.”
“Not what you said before.”
“Dirty mind. This one time in college, but seriously the tea is foul. Especially when you are on the good stuff.”
“I’m having Red Bush too. Only.. Only fair.”
“Only? Only I wouldn’t drink that if I didn’t have to”
“That’s how much I love you.”
“Oh my god. You are so full of crap. I bet we just ran out of the other ones.”
“Just hurry up and get ready will you. I’ve got something I need to tell you.”
“Oh intriguing. Tolls gone up in the car park again.”
“You make me sound so boring.”
“But you are! You remember the first thing you said to me?”
“I think it was.. What time is the next train?”
“No, you said. ‘St Johns Wood is the only underground train station name not to contain the letters from the word mackerel.’ ”
“You were looking at a tube map. And it worked didn’t it. Here we are three years on, starting a family.”
“I always find that funny.”
“What?”
“One child and you call it a family”
“Would you like more than one?”
“Yeah, why not.”
“That’s great news!!”
“That’s too enthusiastic for this time in the morning. Do you think I’ve got more than one in here? Should I not bother with the ultrasound!”
“No. I mean yes of course you should. It’s great that you want more kids.”
“Why the sudden change of heart? I had to twist your arm to have this one.”
“I dunno Jules I was worried about the cost of the treatment. I guess.”
“And now you aren’t?”
“That’s kind of what I had to talk to you about.”
“Oh good. Jamie brought the winning lotto ticket.”
“No.”
“Damn I’ll cancel the down payment on the yacht.”
“Jules.”
“Yes, come on spit it out.”
“I’m pregnant too”
“What? How?”
“Wrong place, right time?”

Tea em


If you liked that please check out my other fictional efforts here. Also please check out the other dialogue only pieces from my friends at Absolute Write.

orion_mk3 – http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (link to post)
Ralph Pines – http://ralfast.wordpress.com/ (link to post)
articshark – http://www.drslaten.com/blog (link to post)
Sudo_One – https://sudoone.wordpress.com/ You Are HERE!
Nissie – http://www.rinchupeco.com/ (link to post)
Angyl78 – http://jelyzabeth.wordpress.com/ (link to post)
Lady Cat – http://randomwriterlythoughts.blogspot.ca/ (link to post)
U2Girl – http://ancatdubh.org/ (link to post)
MsLaylaCakes – http://www.taraquan.com/ (link to post)
SuzanneSeese – http://www.viewofsue.blogspot.com/ (link to post)
LanaK – http://lanaketrick.blogspot.com/ (link to post)
in_one – http://quirkythomas.blogspot.com/ (link to post)

Fiction: Morning Tea

Fiction: (April) Spring, Summer and Wednesdays

This is part of Absolute Write Blog Chain for April. The theme this month is “April Fool”. I got such great feedback last time I fear this is gonna be that “difficult second album.”

Sit back and try to enjoy… (Then visit the other blog chain gangers)


“April fool” she shouted.

And just like that April’s world caved in.

Today was her birthday, she was 19. Earlier her best friend Robert had given her a badge which announced “Birthday Girl” to the world. He pinned it upon her t-shirt. Being careful not to pierce her ivory skin. He smiled, admiring his own dexterity. She’d known him since she was five years old. Since he’d fallen off the jungle gym into her path. The shock of the fall and the shooting pain running through his grazed knees had caused his eyes to well up with tears.

April’s eyes now reflected that memory.

She thought of long hot summers, where there was no school. She and Robert would climb trees together despite being told by her mother not to. They made lemonade on the the warmest day of the year. They laughed and ran in the fields, tripping each other and falling down in the soft grass. Robert had made her promise to be friends for life.

April now wondered what she’d do with her life. As she sat in dark isolation.

She thought of how dark it had been three years ago, when she met her first proper boyfriend Mark. She had gone to the local store and the sky threw down a heavy spring shower. Mark was sheltering under a nearby tree. He called out to her. They stayed under that tree long after the rain had stopped. Talking and laughing. April had felt so close to him. She kissed him on the cheek and bid him goodnight. The next day she excitedly told Robert all about the spring showers. He had called Mark a “Jerk.” and stormed off.

From where April was in the dark she could her distant voices. Were they looking for her, or just fooling around in the spirit of the day.

Robert had been the first to offer words of comfort when she had learned that Mark had been cheating on her. He’d been sleeping with an older woman every Wednesday afternoon for the best part of 6 months. Not once did Robert say “I told you so.” He was a true friend. She had rested her head on his shoulder.

She now rested her head in her hands. Tears streaming down, splashing off of the birthday girl badge. Robert had always such great care of her. April didn’t know why she pushed him. Yelling “April Fool!” It wasn’t even an April fools joke, it was a push.

A little push like when they were kids. He’d stumble, they’d laugh. April fool. A push, a joke.

“April fool” the words spun round and round in her head.

She saw Robert fall backwards into the road. His head hit the ground.

April fool.

The driver of the car slammed on the brakes. Robert disappeared under the screeching tyres.

April fool ran. Ran to isolation, to let the darkness forgive her.

Screen Shot 2013-04-22 at 23.35.27


If you liked that please feel free to read my other fictional pieces here. They serve only to make the other bloggers on this chain look fantastic by comparison. Take a look…

orion_mk3 – http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (link to post) 
Ralph Pines – http://ralfast.wordpress.com (link to post)
Angyl78 – http://jelyzabeth.wordpress.com/ (link to post)
Araenvo – http://www.simonpclark.com/ (link to post)
MsLaylaCakes – http://www.taraquan.com/ (link to post)
Lady Cat – http://randomwriterlythoughts.blogspot.ca/ (link to post)
LanaK – http://lanaketrick.blogspot.com/ (link to post)
Lyra Jean – http://beyondtourism.wordpress.com/ (link to post)
Sudo_One – https://sudoone.wordpress.com/ Me!
articshark – http://www.drslaten.com/blog (link to post)

Fiction: (April) Spring, Summer and Wednesdays

Fiction: What The Leprechaun Said..

As I like a challenge. I decided to take part in the Absolute Write March 2013 Blog Chain. Being as it’s March and nearly St Paddy’s day the prompt is “What the Leprechaun Said..” Anything St Patricks related, thats how I read it anyway. As always I just hope it’s not shit. Please check out the work of the other members of this months chain. I will update the links to the articles when they are all available. This is the first AW thing I’ve done, so I hope I got the point of it.


Patrick had always been a good guy for as long as I could remember. At school, he was always the one who had his homework done early, his uniform clean and pressed. We didn’t socialise in the same circles, Patrick was a square. But we lived in the same small village so we were aware of each other. People gossip y’know.

Patrick was a regular in attendance at the local church. I didn’t go, well I was there in the car park in the early days to stand around with my friends and smoke. Oh Jesus I was such a wannabe gangster.

We were chalk and cheese, when I was trying out my first joint, Patrick was helping out at the homeless shelter. Whilst I was trying to cop off with Lindsay and her sister Lorna behind the local pub, Patrick was practicing his wedding vows. Patrick married Maria, a girl from Church at when they were both just 16.

She was a pretty girl. Lorna on the other hand was a skank. She suited my persona, I went out of my way to be bad. Swearing, Spitting, joyriding. I got drunk every weekend from the ages of 15 to 22. Pissed and pissed off at the world. Hey, everyone is at that age. Everyone aside from Patrick. Why can’t you be more like Patrick? People said that a lot. The guy was a saint.

Those same people were surprised when I got my job. I was the talk of the village. Mum was proud, finally. Patrick himself was pleased so I heard.

In a sleepy village like ours nothing happens. I’d held down my job for years even got a few promotions. Nothing out of the ordinary. Until the call at 2:30am. I got up having dressed rather sleepily, my buttons on my shirt were out of line. Just like school days. I jumped into the car, although it was hardly worth it for a journey so short. Patrick and Maria didn’t live far from me and that was where I’d been summoned.

On my arrival at the house I met my boss. He’d been there for half an hour already and was now sat perched on Patrick’s doorstep.

“Real mess in there.” he said. “Blood everywhere. Screaming heard two hours ago by the neighbour. Surprised you didn’t hear anything, being so close and all.”
“Sound sleeper Boss” I said as I pushed open the door. Keeping it light to hide my surprise. Surely there was some mistake, surely my DCI was wrong.

He wasn’t.

Blood coated every surface in the living room of Patrick and Maria. The police photographers were taking pictures, mostly of Maria’s dismembered torso which sat centre stage in the room. To the left of it was her head, and on a sofa tossed idly like it was a weekly periodical was a blood soaked chainsaw. I felt sick.

Patrick rocked involuntarily, a crazed look on his face, in the far corner of the room. His hands cuffed behind his back.

“Why did you do it?” I asked him.
“Well officer,” he replied quietly. “It was what the leprechaun said..”


Please check out the work of my fellow Blog Chain bloggers.

orion_mk3 – http://nonexistentbooks.wordpress.com (link to post) 
robeiae – http://thepondsofhappenstance.blogspot.com/ (link to post) 
writingismypassion – http://charityfaye.blogspot.com/ (link to post) 
Sudo_One – https://sudoone.wordpress.com/ ME!
randi.lee – http://emotionalnovel.blogspot.com/ (link to post)
pyrosama – http://matrix-hole.blogspot.com/ (link to post) 
katci13 – http://www.krystalsquared.net/ (link to post) 
MsLaylaCakes – http://taraquan.com/ (link to post) 
Angyl78 – http://jelyzabeth.wordpress.com/ (link to post) 
KitCat – http://twilightasylum.wordpress.com/ (link to post) 
Bloo – http://www.emergencyroomproductions.net/ (link to post) 
dclary – http://davidwclary.com (link to post) 
ConnieBDowell – http://bookechoes.com/ (link to post)
Lady Cat – http://carolsrandomness.blogspot.com/ (link to post)
Araenvo – http://www.simonpclark.com/ (link to post)
MichaelP – http://portablemagicblog.com/ (link to post)
Ralph Pines – http://ralfast.wordpress.com/ (link to post)
mdgreene50 – http://www.gettotheinside.blogspot.com/ (link to post)
dolores haze – http://dianedooley.wordpress.com/ (link to post)

Fiction: What The Leprechaun Said..