Don’t Worry Your Pretty Little Head

The picture below is that of the husband of Rachel Reeves MP for Leeds West in the UK

This guy went on Twitter to say how great it was that his Missus had made it to front benches of the opposition. The press in their even handed level way thought that this picture was the most suitable. Except they didn’t… he’s just a guy in his budgie smugglers and is not at all connected to Rachel Reeves.

I mean if she is married, you expect the guy to be permanently in a tweed suit and occasionally claim for porn on expenses. If a male spouse of a politician tweets something along the lines of “My missus was unlucky to get sacked.” any accompanying picture would be of him in the aforementioned suit. Why then, if the ex wife of a politician does a similar thing does a major newspaper for real do this.

Now I’m by no means “modern” man. I think it’s good that women tennis players get paid less than men (they play less) I think page 3 is a good thing. I think a beautiful woman is much nicer to look at than a handsome man. I believe the genetic differences between men and women should be celebrated for the good of the human race. In general terms there are some things women are better equipped to do genetically than men and vice versa. Why not use these natural skills instead of fighting against them?

However if a woman is talking about politics or sport or the price of fish. A picture of her in a bikini is not appropriate, unless the interview is from the beach. Now I will be honest here (sorry chaps) If a woman on TV is attractive and fully clothed I will look. Often regardless of what she is saying I might even think “Nice tits.” I’m a horrible person, but I am not the editor of a daily newspaper.

Now you may ask. How can you think Page 3 is good, but think random pictures of women with opinions in bikinis is bad. Well Page 3 girls know they are Page 3 girls, they get their tits out, pics get airbrushed and they get paid. Random women are unaware that the selfie they are taking will be used against them to discredit any serious point they were making. Not because people disagree with the point but because they think she doesn’t look good in the bikini.

News paper guys need to take a look at themselves and the example they are setting for kids namely you the idea that you can write for a paper and get paid to copy and paste from Twitter as long as you have bare skin somewhere. Imagine the memorable news stories history reported today:

@JackieO Devistated for John RIP
Jackie Kennedy tweeted about her grief for President Kennedy

Mailreader1: Crap dress, where are her tits.

Breast size has no relevance to intelligence. Thank goodness. Despite how things are reported in 2013!

There has however been a link discovered between penis size and spelling ability, I wil lat you deside if thas gud or bod for dis blooger.


(BDYBIS) Page 3

So enough messing around. What’s a months worth of writing if it doesn’t upset a few people. Today I’m going to write about breasts! Oh yes. If this doesn’t me hits nothing will, so for all the people who found this by googling there are no naked boobs here. (if I don’t get to see any don’t see why you should)

My twitter feed has been festooned with support for the “no more page 3” campaign today. Yes these people want to go directly from page 2 to page 4 in any publication. That’s going to ruin so many books for them! They won’t know the story or anything. No this campaign is about the daily publication of a picture of a topless woman in the nations best selling tabloid newspaper The Sun. Tits on your table with your tea and toast if you will.

Now let me state for the record. I have never ever brought The Sun, not even when I was 14 and breast obsessed. Even in 1994 there were better ways to cop an eyeful. I appreciate the female form as all straight males should, and I’m not afraid to say it. Well write it. This appreciation does not include leering, coping a cheeky feel or shouting out of van windows “nice bangers love”. I am however not above pornography in many of its varied forms.

There are lots of things I don’t like or don’t approve of. Some of which I written about at great length here. If I ruled the world I’d ban ITV1 as I find it offensive to my intelligence and all 3 of my senses (see what I did there) but there are some people who like it. The presenters or actors employed by that network are all able to up and leave and go anywhere else. (except Jonathan Ross he’s burnt all his bridges) Maybe some will use their exposure on ITV1 and get enough money to be able to work on a small production about Greek Art that airs on Sky Arts or BBC Four, that without their tenure on Pets Win the Stupidest Prizes the commissioning editor of the BBC would never have agreed to.

Page 3 has been around since 1970. The world has changed so much since then, what hasn’t is that women still want to do page 3. There are other jobs these girls can do, but they choose to do page 3 because it opens up a world of opportunity for them. Katie Price, Melinda Messenger, Linda Lusardi, Jayne Middlemiss amongst others have all gone on to forge successful media careers past page 3. I don’t buy the “it’s exploitative” argument. A women wants to show her body, someone will pay her to do that. It’s savvy on the part of the page 3 girl and her choice to work how she chooses.

I don’t like ITV1. I don’t watch ITV1. I haven’t started a online petition to get it banned (where would Ant & Dec live). If you don’t like Page 3, don’t buy The Sun problem solved. I don’t buy it because the columnists and contributors are the biggest tits in the paper.

If you wish to disagree with me and sign the “No More Page 3” petition please do so here to be honest it could do with a little boost. (Or dare I say it a push up)

If you want look at Page 3… just google for christ sake.

For the Love of God / a Sandwich

Ahhh the blessed Friday lunch break, a time to contemplate another thrill packed weekend and perhaps work out a way of killing whats left of the working week. At the very least a chance to get out of the office and grab a bite to eat.

If I’m feeling flush I head to my local non-chain sandwich shop and grab one of their awesome cakes. However as I am trying to economise today I favoured the Sainburys £3 meal deal. Why do I feel the need to put this info on the blog. Well I think you my subscribers need to know I am being well fed.. No.

The lunch time run is carried out the world over. The time away from the office is a little oasis in the day. Why then did someone today feel the need to stop me and offer to pray for me. There I am minding my own business, wandering up the road when:-

“Excuse me, You look like you might need praying for. I’m from the local church, we pray for people in the streets. ”
“No thanks.” I said, quite politely.
“Well I’ll pray for you anyway.”

Yes folks it’s another post about religion. Sit back and relax because it’s about to get messy. As I watched the guy thankfully walk away, still in a slight state of shock, my choice of sandwich dislodged from my mind. I began to slowly simmer, angry at myself for being so polite, angry at him for his unwanted prayer.

Firstly how dare he assume that “I need praying for” thats like walking up to a woman and saying she needs a boob job, (I’ll re-visit the boob theme later) he’s saying I am imperfect in his eyes so I need to prayed for in order to obtain some salvation from a spiritual being who I don’t care about.

Secondly, how dare he impose his religious beliefs onto me. I have spoken before of my opinions and attitude to the beliefs of others. It’s whatever helps you through, if that doesn’t infringe on the lives of others in a detrimental way. The way this prayer was offered was a kin to that of someone trying to sell a timeshare in Tenerife, detrimental to my own personal beliefs, space, and detrimental to the religion itself to be hawked in such an inappropriate setting.

Thirdly it’s just downright embarrassing. It’s the third time in my life that I have been prayed for in a public (not church) space. People wandering by thinking I am partaking in some kind of cultish (maybe I spelt that wrong) procedure, not knowing I am just wanting a sandwich.

In the forth place, I find it extremely rude for him to say that he’d pray for me anyway, despite me saying no. That is the same as me walking up to a girl with great boobs and going:

“Great boobs, can I pleasure myself over them please.”
“No.” says the girl with the rack.
“Well I’m going to anyway.”

It’s inappropriate. I don’t want to think of him “saving me” same as the girl doesn’t want think of me doing the “five knuckle shuffle”

Moral of the story. If you want to be religious and that helps you fine. If you think your religion would help me, fine. If you force your religion upon me or others when we just want a sandwich. Expect to be compared to a wanker.