Overly Social Media

I’m a old curmudgeon. My mother says I was born an old man. I hate people until they prove worthy of my time, once you are in the circle you pretty much stay there until you choose to leave. In the circle you have benefits like unlimited lifts in the car at pretty much whatever time you like, beer money on the rare occasion I have it, IT/AV assistance, access to slow roasted Lamb and most importantly you can have my last Rolo.

Outside of my group you can pretty much, keel over and die without me batting an eyelid.

Selfish, yes.
Self preservation also.

Social media flies in the face of my survival strategy. Twitter and Facebook (moreso) forces you to form relationships with people you knew 20 years ago, or people you met once on a drunken night out in Rhyll. These people in the cold hard light of day mean less to you than your clan members in Clash of Clans or the members of your faction on Last of Us but because you have seen Barry’s daughter Stacy (whom you never met) take her first steps you feel somehow compelled to write some vapid response to Barry’s status. Which Barry will maybe read, smile and then ignore.

Using Facebook to plan a social gathering is like trying to find a TV presenter from the 1970’s that isn’t in prison. Possible, but hardly worth the effort. The people most likely to attend are your best friends, who whilst on your facebook, are also in your phonebook and textable. Those same people probably ignore Facebook event requests because they are as regular as someone on a fibre rich diet.

Those friends who see the event will also assume that because the Facebook event is visible to all of your 800 “friends” that at least 70 bods will show up. Now friending Dominos in is a great way to get 10% off Pizza but I doubt their CEO cares you are having a “Summer Shindig” so won’t turn up.

I left Facebook long ago, not missed it. All the people near and dear to me, write or talk to me. Not a wall or a time line. Facebook and any online platform, this included, is all too often used to foster a persona, a façade of the frothy. Don’t get me wrong, not everything has to have deep meaning, but it has to be real otherwise we may as well all pretend to be Astronauts.



Facebook Closed

This is gonna be one of those pieces. The equivalent to me saying “I’ve been shopping” or “I had a big poo” Actually the poo statement might be interesting, but both topics aren’t really blog worthy.

Maybe this topic is worth a Facebook status update rather than a fully fledged blog piece:

Sudo One: Closed my Facebook LOL 🙂 🙂


As you might know from reading my bits (ooh err) I’m not exactly social, so why I would I be on social media. Well when I joined Facebook was a simple place, full of simple people (My friends!) Some people I went to school with, others I worked with, the usual crowd. I along with all my friends would update statuses with the usual bollocks, it got liked, commented on or ignored. Bit like the blog really, come to think of it I did use the “notes” feature to blog a little. It was a place to waste time with your friends, communicate without saying a word.

Now Facebook has become less about the communication and more about photos, games, recording social events. Encouraging people not so much to enjoy moments in their real lives but document them, using timelines. Photos are endlessly tagged, something you did in 1983 and are ashamed of is scanned in and pinned to your timeline for everyone to see. So the spell of cross dressing I had as a 3 yr old is now known by everyone at work.

I kept it for so long, partly to promote this ere blog, partly because I have some friends overseas that I don’t contact anywhere else and partly to play poker for imaginary money. That was it, I got annoyed by the prattle of some people I used to go to school with, I was pleased that some of them made well, but from the rut I am stuck in I didn’t really wanna have to be pleased for them every day! (Hey I’m not perfect)

My wall slowly became full of ads, game requests and witterings from people I hadn’t seen in 20 years. About as much use as a communication tool as a megaphone in a toilet cubical. You hear at first but get ear ache quickly. Twitter was a breath of fresh air in that toilet block!

Twitter is still a communication tool. Like Facebook was, before it tried to be all things to all men. Don’t get me wrong Twitter still has it’s fair share of shit, by once you get the hang of it, it’s entirely your own fault if you end up with a feed full of shite!

Final straw was when Facebook imposed the timeline upon me, made my photos a focal point. I hate photos of me, hence the cartoon avatar here! And I haven’t even written anything about personal data security.. DAMN IT!

Follow me on Twitter by clicking the button on the right.
Don’t look for me on Facebook, cos I ain’t there
Do also look here, for social media fails and wins.

My PIN Number is 3256

Yep that is my card PIN number. Whilst I’m at it I may as well give you the expiry date too 11/12. Why the hell not. People can probably find this out anyway, so why not get it out there. If I Google my name I can find out the address of my family home (despite us not being listed in the phone book) and a now expired personal email address. By reading this blog you already know some medical information about me, you know that I work. You know that I support Reading FC and a quick search on Wikipedia will tell you that Reading (whilst being by far the greatest team the world has ever seen) does not have a worldwide following of Man Utd or Celtic so it’s a fair bet I live within a stones throw of Reading. My facebook removes all doubt.

Facebook will give you a likeness of me, my page is not full of photos of family and friends, because I’m not photogenic (as my gravatar will testify to) however some people have pictures of their kids and check in on their phones to inform “friends” where they are. I was tempted to sign up for LinkedIn because I would like a new job and it is a way of getting out there, I will shortly upload an updated CV (or Resume, for those across the pond) to at least 3 websites in the vain hope someone will rescue me from my day to day hell. This of course will tell you my employment history, talents (haha!) and background.

I am a member of the Playstation Network, who recently (and you’ll know) got very very hacked. So my details could be anywhere, Sony have not yet said what has happened to anything. HMRC lost 25 million data records in 2008,  and just today (hence blog) the NHS lost 20 laptops containing medical records.  So potentially there is so much info about me, my friends, work colleagues, and medical history that could be obtained in a afternoon.

So my radical solution to the problem is to publish it. Make everything for everyone freely available. You cannot be blackmailed by information that is public knowledge. Take Ryan Giggs, subject of a super injunction. The only reason people are still talking about this is because he kept it quiet. If the papers had been allowed to report the adventures of the Welsh Wonders Willy at the time it will have made copy for 3 days tops, but due to the hush up it’s been doing the rounds for the best part of a month.

If peoples details are all over the place anyway why not just add a bit to Facebook for credit card details and medical history. Why not send out a Tweet everytime you make a purchase. Funny thing is I believe if Facebook added this function people would use it. A great ruse I read about had someone change their status to “Wow Facebook protects your password look ************ it won’t let you type it, try it” people did and their replies to the status included their Facebook passwords and not ***!

If there was just one online place where your details were and it was compromised at least you’d have one button to request a new life or maybe companies could actually treat our information how they would like theirs to be treated. And yes we as people should realise that whatever we put into cyberspace can be used against us.

Shh it’s a secret

The following was written by me and posted on Facebook Notes… where no-one ever looks. So it’s fit for a 2nd airing here…..

We live in a world where governments lie, official secrets and scandals swept under the carpet everyday. Nothing new. However people, the man in the street doesn’t seem to want to keep secrets anymore from anyone.