Freak

Sex On Wheels (Channel 4)

Sex, now here’s a post that will get me lots of hits. (Hello disappointed people looking for porn.) It’s a very powerful thing. Everyone likes it anyone who disagrees with that is lying. It’s a base urge, we must procreate otherwise humanity will die out, we were built to like it. Although where liking dressing up as an Adult Baby comes in to saving humanity I’m not quite sure. But each to their own.

Sex is a surefire ratings winner for TV. Fictional Sex, “Sex and the City”, “Girls” and “Californication” all have strong sexual content and all are ratings winners. Reality sex also sells, “The Sex Clinic”, “The Joy of Teen Sex”, and “The Sex Inspectors” to name but a few. Step forward (or rather roll forward) “Sex on Wheels” a documentary point and laugher that aired yesterday on Channel 4 in the UK. This followed the sex lives (or lack of them in some cases) of a few disabled people.

Disabled people like to fuck too. Wow who knew!

Sex Dice

All of the people featured I have no doubt are real people living independent lives. It is difficult to comment on the show without judging them. It would be interesting to see their real responses to the show now it has been shown, if they feel the edit portrayed them in a favourable light.

As with all “documentaries” it would seem these days there is no room for subtlety. People going about their lives telling their real stories. Therefore it would seem Channel 4 (edit aside) chose their participants for this documentary in the same way they would choose housemates for Big Brother. So with a sweeping a few sweeping generalisations we have our cast:-

  • The Nympho: Sexually active and adventurous but, she says wants to “settle down”. She has a nice rack and is only in her early twenties and someone settling down makes boring TV so she will be shown constantly flirting.
  • Reformed Jack the Lad: Alpha Male. Spends all of the time talking about his penis, until the spiritual sex therapy (Sham Science) lets him find himself.
  • You are a Wannabe and everyone is laughing at you: Wants to be a porn star because he “likes sex” Gets to visit a porn set like a little boy who wrote in to Jim’ll Fix It “Dear Nonce, Please can you fix it for me…”
  • The peoples Champion: For every panto villain there needs to be a hero. A good guy, a guy which we are all routing for. He is depicted as the most Normal of the ensemble, hell he even loves his mum and takes good care of animals. What a nice guy.

Remember this is not what I feel the people are actually like. Just how I feel how they were depicted. I haven’t mentioned their disabilities at this point because they are largely irrelevant. All of them are in wheelchairs bar the peoples champion (because he’s gotta look normal kids), Jack the Lad because of accident which has limited his sex life, the others are all disabled from birth.

This was a chance for the world to see how disabled people fuck or try to fuck. Disabled people in general are not viewed in a sexual way, so depicting them as sexually active showing a “healthy” level of desire would in itself made for a eye opening documentary for most people. However the editorial decision to show extremes, like the injured guy masturbating trying to gain an erection (yes really) and to allow the patronising treatment of the Wannabe Pornstar by everyone only serves to give something else for people to laugh at. If you don’t believe me search twitter for #sexonwheels.

You Fat Bastard

It’s the new year. Some people will have resolved to lose weight partly due to the fact that those extra Turkey sandwiches have given people guilt pangs. Channel 5 in the UK have come up with the masterstroke of showing “50 Shocking Facts About Diet and Exercise.” A tongue in cheek show showing lots of people are really guilable when it comes to how they treat their bodies. Now I’m naturally skinny, lucky me. But I will give you a secret to health. Its simple.

Eat in proportion to how active you are! If you are too fat, eat less become more active. We are simple creatures. All this calorie counting, Atkins, and Weight Watchers is all bollocks. The long term success rate of Weight Watchers is scandalous. As high as 2 in 1000. If you car only worked 2 in a thousand times you wouldn’t say it was a good car. Remember people Weight Watchers make money by keeping you at meetings, if you stop going and reach your target weight and stay there they lose your subs.

Fad diets are even worse. Atkins, G – Plan, no bread, whatever. Balance is the key. Too much or too little of anything is bad for you. Simple. Your body will tell you if you are feeling ok. Listen to it. Too many aches and pains, breathlessness after scratching your arse. Probably a sign you should do something, what you do is up to you. A bunch of crystal meth will take those pounds off but it will probably screw with your body in other ways ruining the balance!

Humans are a balanced species. We can do almost everything except fly. We can run, but not too fast. We can jump, but not too high. Cheetahs can run fast but they are crap Archers, nor can they tell any good jokes. Humans are the archetypal “Jack/Jill of all trades” some of us are tall some are short, some are fat. The fact is that many people we aspire to be are freaks. I mean freaks in the nicest possible way. Michael Phelps the record breaking American swimmer is freakishly good at swimming. His muscles are the optimum dimensions for swimming. Anyone trying to compete is already on to loser before they enter the pool. It is only age that has made things a little more competitive.

By Karen Blaha (Flickr profile) (Original webpage:[1] Website publisher: Flickr) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Freak…

Healthy is a myth. Another body image projected by the media. Personal wellbeing is something that should be promoted. But it can’t be packaged and sold, because it is different for different people. Some people carry weight in fat, others in muscle. Some people will be skinny and feel like shit, others will feel ok. Because we are balanced, anything to the extreme is bad.

Diet anything, programs, foods, drinks are all marketing ways to get people to part with their cash. If you want a Coke, drink a full fat coke. Enjoy it. It has less chemicals in it than Diet Coke. Just don’t drink loads of it. Balance, moderation. Simple

I’m off now to kill Special K advertisers. Happy New Year, eat enjoy be happy.

(BDYBIS) Normal

Read this if you will. Caught my attention on last weeks excellent Football 365 Mediawatch page as their non-football story of the day.

Apparently, when you’re arrested for jacking off with a donkey, you want to do your best to make sure the case gets as much publicity as possible. So Carlos Romero decided to give a jailhouse interview and has apparently left several comments across the web defending his love for his donkey. Romero wants his donkey back and claims that sex and emotional intimacy with animals is preferable because humans are just horrible. As we noted yesterday, Romero was arrested up in Marion County over the weekend after he was found fingering his pet donkey and rubbing his nether regions up against it while pleasuring himself. At the time of his arrest Romero said that Florida was “backwards” for looking down on zoophilia.

’Well, Romero isn’t done talking. He said he has always felt an attraction toward animals, especially horses, because people have been known to “stab you in the back, give you diseases, lie to you” and are “promiscuous.” Animals, he said, “are usually there for you” and “do not seek other pleasures.” Their feelings are “100 percent honest,” he added’ – Miami New Times.

Thoughts?

Mine are that Mr Romero actually thinks what he is doing is perfectly OK and “normal” well for him anyway. It occurred to me that, donkey sex aside, things we do day to day, in the privacy of our own homes we, for the most part consider to be “normal” small things, like the way we sit or how we store food. It is only when you stay with someone else that you realise these things maybe aren’t as normal as you thought. At the extremities of legal and moral codes of society are where these differences become an issue.

99.9% of the time (stats are made up.. no) normal is a state that simply doesn’t exist. “Normal” reactions to any given situation vary from day to day from person to person. There are several different ways to perform the simplest of tasks, making a cup of tea for example, milk first, squeeze the bag or not etc.

Sometimes folks are judged by society at large for being a little different, eccentric, sometimes quite rightly so. Certainly anyone who fucks a donkey is gonna be judged, by an actual Judge. However as difficult as it is next time you see someone wandering along who doesn’t look right or normal. Just remember they are not, but neither are you.

Also when someone says ride the donkey they mean…..