Kelly Brook

A Pain in the But

I’m delighted that out of all the blog pieces you could have read (or looked at briefly in order to get fat picture of Kelly Brook) you chose to stop and read mine, but……

Isn’t “but” an awful word it can turn a compliment into something less than complimentary for example.

“You are a great guy.” Is fantastic on it’s own.
“You are a great guy.. but…” is terrible. Whatever comes after the “but” is not gonna be good, it’s like admitting you used the wrong word in “great” like you should have used OK but great was the first thing that popped into your head.

OK what if the sentence is “You had a hideous accident. But we found your penis.”

The “But” brings good news you might think, but no. It’s surrounded by bad news, you would rather never hear the sentence surely. “But” is a bringer of false hope a bastard word that says “You’ll have to endure this crap now, because something will be good later” Again you’d prefer to not have to wait and not hear “but”

“But” is also a “t” too short to be sexy ala “butt” same “t” is missing for the exciting ‘Glasgow Kiss’ head butt.

“But” reminds you of what you are missing. “Sure I could marry you but theres this other guy” or “This ice cream is yummy but I could have cream instead.”

It is in short a bitch of a word. So fuck but.

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(28DW) Poem: Search Terms

I’m your friendly neighbourhood blogger,
And you’ve found me here,
Well done my friend welcome to the party,
Let me buy you a beer.

Did you type in your search term,
With the upmost care,
Or did you type one handed,
Or visit on a dare.

I know what you searched for,
You searched for this and that,
“Religious Bollocks” I understand,
I’m confused by “Kelly Brook fat”

A one off search for lardy Ms Brook,
Would be just a one time kink,
Numerous times a day?
Time for professional help I think.

By LG전자 (LG ‘옵티머스원’, 글로벌 200만대 돌파) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Kelly Brook.. not fat sorry


Please check out the work of my 28DW reprobates  at The Resident Weeble and A Piece of Pandemonium  or gnomes will die.