This is the first piece of WMB4X I’ve not really planned, off the cuff seat of the pants time here. You see I have always written at work in part, this is because my job involves a lot of waiting around for MS Access queries to run (yes Mac boy has to use a PC), tables to import. So I would fire up Pages on my iPhone to cleanse my soul, and appease the masses that read my blog. (Well at least the one man and his dog Hi Chili)
However that has been curtailed apparently the powers that be would much rather us just sit and look into space (the PC can’t multitask) rather than do anything creative. It did get me thinking though. How much time does the average office worker actually spend doing anything bordering on meaningful? Now before we get into this, two things. I do, and I make no secret of this, hate my job. However I do also have high standards of my work, so I am in the strange position of caring about what I do, but not really seeing the point of it. Anyway time waits for no man…
Lets say you work an 8hr day.. altogether now “You work an 8hr day”
Of that 8hrs you have to take a 30 min lunch break by law, although lots don’t. I mean why would you not. Unless you are one of the very small percentage of folks who do actually love what you do. There is legislation that says it’s ok to break, so go ahead and break already.
So we are already down to 7hrs 30 mins.
If you work on a computer (PC my sympathy, Mac you lucky shit) you are supposed to take a 10 minute break away from the screen every two hours. So to make my maths easier lets say you work on the computer for 6hrs that gives you 30 mins break away from the screen, it’s not all in a lump though so that probably means you’ll go for a wander so thats us down to 7hrs.
Of those 7hrs 20 mins of every day is spent walking up stairs, removing jackets and logging on to networks. So thats 6hrs 40. They say to keep optimally hydrated you should drink 8 pints (not beer, awwh) of water a day so lets say you spend 15 mins a day drinking. Thats 6hrs 25 mins maybe even a further 25 mins walking to and from the kitchen to fetch your beverage. 6hrs.
Then because you have drunk all that water you are gonna need to pee. Also lets to be frank here, you are also gonna wanna take advantage of the free bog roll and getting paid to crap bonus, which everyone loves. So lets be conservative here 30mins per day. 5:30.
So 5:30. Well offices all have notice boards or intranet pages you are supposed to read but never do. 30 mins for that 5hrs. If your office is like all the others there is that one person who wanders around talking to anyone who’ll listen about anything. Either you are that person (take those five remaining hours) or you will occasionally talk to them, take at least an hour. Or you will spend an hour trying to work unsuccessfully because of the inane prattle.
4hrs. Team meeting. 2hrs of sitting nodding, agreeing.
2hrs. Well it used to be researching and preparing the blog one hour each. But I guess I’ll have to do some actual work now.
(To any potential employers, I have held down a job since 2000, this is not a true representation of my work output…. I barely even go in)
Check out the fine work of the Resident Weeble who is always in work by the crack of Noon