Cloud Cuckoo Land

I went to school with some right pillocks (dummys, for US readers) they would embellish everything. One guy said he went on a Football tour to Russia in the Half Term holiday, forgetting that I’d seen him that holiday and it wasn’t whilst sharing a bottle of Russian Standard round the back of the Kremlin’s bins.

I have subsequently met adults who like to big themselves up. One being a “Karate” champion who clearly had been confined to a wheelchair for the best part of his life. Don’t get me wrong I am fully aware disabled people can participate in most sports, however this guy just didn’t have the air of a black belt about him.

In stark contrast, I am usually a hyper-realist. No dreams, very little embellishment (it’s 10″) feet on the floor kinda guy. However, recently I have been allowing my realist mind to take a back seat. It’s scary, and confusing for my friends. It’s not in the realms of utter bullshit, I haven’t been going around telling everyone I got in the Reading FC first team or anything. Although the way we are playing at the moment, I just might. No this flight of fantasy is perfectly achievable in a strange way, if, and it’s a huge if everything works out. If I was a betting man I wouldn’t take the bet.

I am trying every day to take solace within my dream. Because it does for the most part make me smile like a lunatic. It’s only when my long standing realism kicks in that it brings me down.

This cloud right now, Complete with Cuckoo is well worth the crushing lows for the highs (which are not all fiction) There may be a time where it isn’t and I have pop whatever bubble my head has me living in. The difficulty I have is managing my expectations. There are so many factors over which I have very little control, I am putting things in place to try and get close to the dream. However there are degrees of success with this. Let’s say the dream is to live with a beautiful girl in a nice house, where we have twenty dogs. (not too far away from the dream but hypothetical)

What if I get the house and the dogs, but no girl. Or if I get the girl and we only have 19 dogs. Will I be happy with that? Or will I live on thinking, this isn’t the dream? Only time will tell.

Fan-tailed Cuckoo (Cacomantis flabelliformis) 1

(BDYBIS) Page 3

So enough messing around. What’s a months worth of writing if it doesn’t upset a few people. Today I’m going to write about breasts! Oh yes. If this doesn’t me hits nothing will, so for all the people who found this by googling there are no naked boobs here. (if I don’t get to see any don’t see why you should)

My twitter feed has been festooned with support for the “no more page 3” campaign today. Yes these people want to go directly from page 2 to page 4 in any publication. That’s going to ruin so many books for them! They won’t know the story or anything. No this campaign is about the daily publication of a picture of a topless woman in the nations best selling tabloid newspaper The Sun. Tits on your table with your tea and toast if you will.

Now let me state for the record. I have never ever brought The Sun, not even when I was 14 and breast obsessed. Even in 1994 there were better ways to cop an eyeful. I appreciate the female form as all straight males should, and I’m not afraid to say it. Well write it. This appreciation does not include leering, coping a cheeky feel or shouting out of van windows “nice bangers love”. I am however not above pornography in many of its varied forms.

There are lots of things I don’t like or don’t approve of. Some of which I written about at great length here. If I ruled the world I’d ban ITV1 as I find it offensive to my intelligence and all 3 of my senses (see what I did there) but there are some people who like it. The presenters or actors employed by that network are all able to up and leave and go anywhere else. (except Jonathan Ross he’s burnt all his bridges) Maybe some will use their exposure on ITV1 and get enough money to be able to work on a small production about Greek Art that airs on Sky Arts or BBC Four, that without their tenure on Pets Win the Stupidest Prizes the commissioning editor of the BBC would never have agreed to.

Page 3 has been around since 1970. The world has changed so much since then, what hasn’t is that women still want to do page 3. There are other jobs these girls can do, but they choose to do page 3 because it opens up a world of opportunity for them. Katie Price, Melinda Messenger, Linda Lusardi, Jayne Middlemiss amongst others have all gone on to forge successful media careers past page 3. I don’t buy the “it’s exploitative” argument. A women wants to show her body, someone will pay her to do that. It’s savvy on the part of the page 3 girl and her choice to work how she chooses.

I don’t like ITV1. I don’t watch ITV1. I haven’t started a online petition to get it banned (where would Ant & Dec live). If you don’t like Page 3, don’t buy The Sun problem solved. I don’t buy it because the columnists and contributors are the biggest tits in the paper.

If you wish to disagree with me and sign the “No More Page 3” petition please do so here
http://www.change.org/en-GB/petitions/dominic-mohan-take-the-bare-boobs-out-of-the-sun to be honest it could do with a little boost. (Or dare I say it a push up)

If you want look at Page 3… just google for christ sake.