Super Easy Barely an Inconvenience

I don’t care about your opinion. I do feel the need to voice mine. My blog my rules! I don’t need or want you to agree with me I don’t seek your approval oh great and mighty internet strangers. This is not about my vanity as a two bit wannabe writer or your ego as you think your opinion will finally remove the scales from my eyes and I’ll see the light and it’ll be you what dun it.

COVID 19 took us all by surprise. Governments, Priests, the average Joe in the street. I thought “It’ll stay mostly in China, poor bastards. Few cases here, but we’ll cope and happy days” I was clearly wrong. Millions dead worldwide, lockdown. Phrases like the new normal being born, extroverts invading a introverts space, not liking it, chewing someone’s leg off to get out, go do, go see.

I on the other hand, have been extremely cautious. I do not want to be ill and risk Hospital. You see I have a disability the effects my balance. So shitting in a bedpan is something I long to avoid. In addition to that, my parents are old now and I wouldn’t want to risk them getting ill. All sensible reasoning so far right?

Anyway few months along, and people are now required to wear a face mask in shops. At the moment infection rates are low, and everyone is trying to restore normality. Meeting friends, going to the pub. Good stuff.

Over the past few weeks I have seen objection videos to the masks pop up. Saying that masks inhibit oxygen or they are a way to control us, take away our individuality and freedom to communicate. I have a question to the people making those. Why would someone want to do that? Yes to control, but why? It’s a big conspiracy as normal but who can gain from it ( whatever it is)

I have another question for people sharing. Why? I mean you obviously agree with the points made. Maybe you have issues with communication, the deaf community must have an issue with lip reading right now. But I know a deaf girl (she doesn’t have to listen to me talk, its a blessing she says) she communicates via text or just writing on her tablet round Tesco’s. Because her boyfriend doesn’t sign and she can’t lip read because of his mask. (Which incidentally says “My girlfriend doesn’t listen to me” on it in big red letters. Funny fuckers) And that begins my point…

As a disabled person, my whole existence is filled with inconvenience. I have to sit exactly right as I write this or my back will spasm, I would love extremely acrobatic and energetic sex, however my physical movements are limited, I love long walks in the rain (50 ft and I have to rest unless I have fallen down), real ale in pint glasses I can’t carry. Do I complain.. hell yeah. Do I stop trying to do what I want to do, do I let the inconvenience be the focus. No. Round every inconvenience is a way through a way out.

Your inconvenience at the moment is wearing a mask. It doesn’t impact your life in any meaningful way and here’s hoping this will be a distant memory in 6 months. Your way out will be sorted for you and this will just be “remember when we all wore those masks..” story. There are ways and means to do the things you love without endangering yourself or those you care about. If you can’t wear a mask, stay out of the shops.

I don’t care if you agree, I don’t care if “there is this scientific paper…” (check your sources) wear your tinfoil hat if you are that important that they are coming to get you. Wear a mask and be socially distanced. Be an example to your children, ensure they are safe. Argue about it later, because it is saving lives today that is all that matters.

(WMB4X) Happy Australia Day

Hello Aussie followers, I know it’s not Australia Day, I hope you have a good one whenever it is. In America today it is Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving whereupon there are crazy sales, turkey hangovers and virgin sacrifices. (Maybe)

Black Friday has it’s origins in the US fiscal system, some say it refers to a stock market crash, others say the term originated in it’s current meaning in Philadelphia describing the mixed traffic queues of sports fans and shoppers in the early 60’s. Black Friday didn’t spread across America until the early 90’s but now it’s here and widespread to the UK largely thanks to US based retailers Amazon, Apple and Asda (Walmart) to name but a few.

Black Friday has precisely the square route of fuck all to do with British culture or consumerism, being as it is ‘as American as apple pie’. Don’t get me wrong I love a deal and I have no problems with crazzzyeee discounts but to call it Black Friday makes no sense. Why not call it a ‘Sale’ or a “Christmas Sale” or “Happy Shop and Masturbate over the low prices Friday” all these names make more sense.

I received this email today.

Screen Shot 2013-11-29 at 22.38.43

I ordered something from BHS once in 2007. Anyone know what BHS stands for? British Home Stores. British Home Stores are having a Black Friday sale. Why? If you enquire about the colour of a jumper in said sale would you have to ask thusly “Hi, What color does the sweater come in?”

I know it’s all a gimmick, to give businesses a boost in the run up to Christmas and to make shoppers think they are getting a good deal when actually, hysteria aside it probably isn’t. We seem to be careering towards becoming the 51st state very quickly, Trick or Treat, Monday Night Football, Fox and now Black Friday. I have nothing against folks from across the pond, one of the things I like the most is the differences between us which amuse me greatly. These differences seem to be ebbing away.

Black Friday, as relevant to Britain as Australia Day or Nelson Mandela day. If we are gonna have it can we at least have the time off work and the deep fried Turkey feast the day before. And if we are sharing traditions, on Black Friday Americans can ditch the pancakes for Breakfast in favour of a Full English with Black pudding or at least learn what “Bollocks” are.

Please visit the Resident Weeble who has a national holiday in his honour in July

Don’t Worry Your Pretty Little Head

The picture below is that of the husband of Rachel Reeves MP for Leeds West in the UK

This guy went on Twitter to say how great it was that his Missus had made it to front benches of the opposition. The press in their even handed level way thought that this picture was the most suitable. Except they didn’t… he’s just a guy in his budgie smugglers and is not at all connected to Rachel Reeves.

I mean if she is married, you expect the guy to be permanently in a tweed suit and occasionally claim for porn on expenses. If a male spouse of a politician tweets something along the lines of “My missus was unlucky to get sacked.” any accompanying picture would be of him in the aforementioned suit. Why then, if the ex wife of a politician does a similar thing does a major newspaper for real do this.

Now I’m by no means “modern” man. I think it’s good that women tennis players get paid less than men (they play less) I think page 3 is a good thing. I think a beautiful woman is much nicer to look at than a handsome man. I believe the genetic differences between men and women should be celebrated for the good of the human race. In general terms there are some things women are better equipped to do genetically than men and vice versa. Why not use these natural skills instead of fighting against them?

However if a woman is talking about politics or sport or the price of fish. A picture of her in a bikini is not appropriate, unless the interview is from the beach. Now I will be honest here (sorry chaps) If a woman on TV is attractive and fully clothed I will look. Often regardless of what she is saying I might even think “Nice tits.” I’m a horrible person, but I am not the editor of a daily newspaper.

Now you may ask. How can you think Page 3 is good, but think random pictures of women with opinions in bikinis is bad. Well Page 3 girls know they are Page 3 girls, they get their tits out, pics get airbrushed and they get paid. Random women are unaware that the selfie they are taking will be used against them to discredit any serious point they were making. Not because people disagree with the point but because they think she doesn’t look good in the bikini.

News paper guys need to take a look at themselves and the example they are setting for kids namely you the idea that you can write for a paper and get paid to copy and paste from Twitter as long as you have bare skin somewhere. Imagine the memorable news stories history reported today:

@JackieO Devistated for John RIP
Jackie Kennedy tweeted about her grief for President Kennedy

Mailreader1: Crap dress, where are her tits.

Breast size has no relevance to intelligence. Thank goodness. Despite how things are reported in 2013!

There has however been a link discovered between penis size and spelling ability, I wil lat you deside if thas gud or bod for dis blooger.

(BDYBIS) Armed Police

The Police in the UK are for the most part un-armed. It’s a dangerous job but given the recent shootings of Police officers in Manchester is it time for Police to be armed?

Well, my opinion for what it’s worth is no.

In America if you want to rob a 7/11 you have to take a gun, if you are a pimp you have to have a gun, if you basically want to commit any kind of crime you need a gun. If you go in un-armed you know the Police are going to turn up with all the might of Mr Smith and Mr Wesson. So at any crime scene every side has a gun, a lethal weapon than could end life in milliseconds.

In the UK there is armed crime but there are less guns. Over this side of the pond knifes and baseball bats are more widely used. Whilst this isn’t good and these weapons can be lethal they are less likely to prove fatal than a gun. Criminals know that getting tooled up for a job doesn’t have to mean a gun for self projection against the Police, because the Police won’t have the upper hand with a gun or 3 arriving at the scene.

It goes without saying that any life lost as a result of a shooting is a tragedy. Let alone two young Police officers shot in the line of duty. But I cannot see how introducing more weapons into the powder keg situation that is a crime scene will result in anything but a further loss of life

Network Issues

The land of the free and the home of quite a few good people. People who are intelligent, well read, witty, sarcastic and maybe more knowledgeable about cultures different to their own than I am.

Yes the land of Apple Pie and the cheeseburger. The United States of America. Loved and loathed in equal measure throughout the world. Where do other cultures get an impression of America? Well before the invention of the interweb that answer was undoubtably TV and Movies. The american police man to the rest of the world was a cross between Kojak and Dave Starsky. The american barman, Woody from Cheers. Every cabbie was somewhere between Andy Kaufman and Robert De Niro.

But where does America get it’s impression of the rest of the world? England for example. Pre-Gervais the Americans appeared to think that we were all either Hugh Grant or John Lennon the influence of film and music. But what about TV? Well this side of BBC America UK TV doesn’t get shown. Shows that are successful here, get re-made and Americanised for that market. “Steptoe and Son”, became “Sanford and Son”, “Til death do us part” became “All in the Family” more recently “Life on Mars” became a US TV car crash that bared no resemblance to the wonderful UK series.

News today that CBS are planning a modern take on Sherlock Holmes. Well to quote Steven Mofatt.

Why do American TV execs feel the need to remake? Looking at this short list of shows that have gone the other way the only things we appear to remake are quiz shows, which makes sense because who wants to see Yolanda from NYC win $100,000 when you are having a brew in Peckham. We don’t remake Cheers and stick a guy called Barry Malone who used to be a fast bowler for Kent in charge of a east end pub. We show the original. (Incidentally where the hell is the rest of the series for DVD release in the UK)

UK network execs seem to believe that UK audiences have the intelligence to be aware of and translate any Americanisms in these shows. They also know that. getting real for a second, to buy a show is cheaper than re-making UK Cheers or a UK ER or a UK Family Guy but it would lose something. Just as another wonderful Mofatt creation “Coupling” lost all the subtlety in the ill fated US network run. A UK “Friends” it was not. Note to US TV execs.. at the very least please leave Doctor Who alone, you made a mess last time.

Photo courtesy of visit for more fantastic images. Click for more of the set