I saw a TikTok the other day, its a fun way to pass the time, bite me!
Anyway, it was a wonderfully constructed poem about the double standards between men and women when it comes to looking for a partner. Women are allowed to say a long list of requirements such as height, body type, hair colour, sexual size and stamina. Whereas if men utter a preference we are sent to the doghouse, branded as “body shaming.”
The TikTok ended by saying that women must end their hypocritical standpoint. This is what stopped me making it a “loved video”
Women don’t need to stop. Men need to be allowed to start, and maybe learn to express those preferences in a better way, largely so you don’t come across like a douchenozzle. No-one can help what they find attractive in a partner. Be it physical or mental attributes or how well they need someone to rock their world between the sheets.
If a woman will only date a bearded, slender, blog writing short arse (contact me) then they should be allowed to express that wish. No amount of social conditioning and condemnation is going to change that. Whatever floats your boat, is yours. Equally if a man wants to look for a partner with curves you could spend weekends exploring he should be allowed to too. No skinny shaming, just an appreciation of the fuller figure.
These are preferences not shaming or triggering. Where the problem comes is how some people express their preference particularly online.
“No thanks you fat cow” is not the correct way to let someone down gently.
“I just don’t fancy you.” Whilst it doesn’t dress it up is functional. Then of course that leads to “Why!” which then may lead to the “fat cow” but… if someone says no, let it go.
Of course we don’t find partners based on physical attraction alone. But it is important. If someone is rude about your appearance why would you want to be with them anyway?
Expressing a preference for a body type or ethic group or whatever is not an “ism” Vilification of these choices lead to toxic and unhappy relationships we are all trying to avoid.
Form an orderly queue ladies.